Marauders Notes
by Paddywhack
Summary: Some random notes passed between the Marauders during different classes. Rated T for language. Completed.
1. Absorbed in Binns

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Nothing familiar is mine.

**By the way: **

**Sirius is bold**

James is normal

_Remus is italics_

Peter is underlined

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HISTORY OF MAG.

**Are any of you ACTUALLY listening to this boring drabble?**

_Yes, I am. And 'drabble' isn't a real word._

**It is a real word! Isn't it Prongs?**

Err… not sure.

_Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted, I was actually listening. This is quite fascinating, actually._

**You're such a geek, Moony. What do you mean, 'rudely interrupted'?**

_Well, people don't tend to like it when annoying little idiots throw paper at the back of their heads._

**How else are you supposed to pass notes?**

_You're not supposed to pass notes!_

**Why are you passing them, then?**

_Shut up, Sirius._

**No. If you want me to shut up, then just stop replying.**

_*RL scrunches up note and chucks it away*_

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**I was only kidding! Moony, please write!**

I think he's gone. He's absorbed in Binns yet again.

**Ugh. Why do we take History of Magic, anyway?**

'Cos we need time to sleep.

**So true, my friend, so true.**

Why didn't you include me in this?

**Wormy! How'd you get this?**

I intercepted it when you were passing it to Prongs.

**Well, that was rude. You shouldn't interrupt notes between friends. It's terribly bad luck.**

Really? I never knew that…

No, not really, Wormtail. Padfoot's being stupid.

_He usually is._

**Moony?! Oh, now I'm really confused…**

_That I find SO hard to believe…_

**Moony, either go away or stop insulting me!**

_Why, when you're so easy to annoy?_

**Go back to listening to Binns. **

_Why?_

**Because otherwise we'll all fail! Take notes, quick!**

_No. Maybe YOU should take notes for once._

**Uh… NO.**

_Why not?_

Because that's so completely and utterly BORING.

_One day, I might not be here anymore, and then what would you do?_

**That's easy. Wormy would take notes, right?**

What? Err… yeah.

_WORMTAIL? He can't even keep up with the conversation._

Hey!

_Sorry. Anyway, James and Sirius, I am never going to take notes in History of Magic ever again. Well, at least, not for the rest of the week. YOU two can take notes, and I'll copy yours._

**If you make us take notes, then we won't let you see them.**

_Well, if you keep making me take notes, I won't let YOU see them._

God, Moony, why are you stressing out so much all of a sudden?

**Prongs! ****It's obvious! It's his… time of the month again!**

_Why must you call it that, Sirius?_

**Why must you call ME that, Lupin, when you know it's not my name?**

_Padfoot, then._

**Because it IS your time of the month, and you know it!**

Yeah!

**Peter, stop trying to get on my side. You don't belong in this argument; you aren't allowed to take sides.**

Well, maybe I'll join Moony's side then, he's always been nicer to me than you!

_Why do you always pick on Wormtail, Sirius?_

**Well, LUPIN, maybe it's because I like picking on him. He's annoying and he gets easily offended. You and Prongs are harder to intimidate.**

Cool!

_Not exactly._

**Why do we hang out with Moony? He's such a geek.**

Ah, but without Moony, where would we be?

_Exactly._

Shut up, I'm not on your side!

_I think I'll go now._

**Why?**

_Class is over, you moron._

**Did he just insult me and then leave?**

Let's just go, Padfoot.

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**Yeah.**

**Reviews?**


	2. That boy in Herbology

**I own nothing you recognise**

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TRANSFIG.

**Woo hoo, ten minutes into Transfiguration and we've already got a detention!**

That must be some kind of record!

_It is._

**We're going to go down in HISTORY! That rocks!**

_For the world's two biggest morons_

**Why do you always use that same insult Moony? It gets a little boring after a while.**

_So do you._

**Why do you hate me so much?**

_I don't._

**HAH! You love me! Moony's gay, Prongs! I told you!**

_What the HELL? I never said I loved you, I said I didn't hate you._

**Yeah, sure you did. Prove it.**

_*Sigh*_

**Stop sighing. It's annoying. You can't sigh on paper. It's impossible.**

Nothing's impossible.

_Actually, there are many things that are impossible. For example, if-_

**-Shut up, no one cares!**

_Why do you always steal the parchment off me?_

**It's fun. And why do you ALWAYS ask questions? Why, why, why, why?**

_Shut up. You're seriously boring, sometimes._

**No, I'm seriously Sirius. All the time. Apart from on the full moon. Then I'm Padfoot. :D**

You're quite strange.

_Tell me about it…_

**You're quite a tortured soul, aren't you, Moony?**

_What?_

**Well, you always seem to be depressed.**

_With friends like you, I wonder why…_

**Aww, was that an attempt at something nice?**

_Nope. It was sarcasm._

**Oh. **

_He's rather stupid, isn't he James?_

You've just noticed?

_No, I've always known. I just thought I'd say._

**Stop being mean! And stop talking about me as though I'm not here!**

Sorry, we thought you weren't there.

"Mr. Lupin, what's that you've got there?"

_"Nothing, Professor McGonagall, just some notes…"_

"Looks like it. Ten points from Gryffindor for passing notes in my class. And, I assure you Mr Potter and Mr. Black, if you are caught with passing notes with Mr. Lupin again, you will be put in detention."

"**How the HELL did she know it was us?"**

"Because we are Moony's only friends, and the only people who would send notes to him in class?"

"**True."**

_"Hey! I have other friends besides you two and Peter, you know!"_

"**Oh yeah? Like who?"**

_"That boy I sat next to in Herbology, Lily-"_

"Evans isn't your friend!"

_"Yes, she is actually. I am the only one out of us who she likes."_

"**Hey! I'm a very lovable person. Prongs, I can understand, but me? I'm charming and smart and handsome and-"**

_"SO modest."_

"**Shut up. Like James is any better,"**

_"True. He's worse, actually. But we aren't talking about James-"_

"Why not? I'm a great topic of conversation! Hey, where are you going? HEY! Wait up!"

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**Reviews, maybe? **


	3. James doesn't drool

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anyone. It's all JKR.

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HERBOLOGY

**Moony, stop staring at Evans and get on with the work!**

_Me? I don't stare at Lily!_

**Sorry, my mistake. I meant, PRONGS, stop staring at Evans and pay attention!**

But she's so pretty… and why should I get on with the work?

**Duh! I can't be bothered to do it! I swear Mary Macdonald keeps making eyes at me; it's starting to freak me out.**

_Why? Normally you love if a girl gives you her attention._

**I do. But she's a little… strange. Always has been since she went behind the bike sheds with one of Snivelly's little friends.**

Ugh, Sniv probably put his grease all over his mates and they passed it on to her.

_What do you think he DID to her?_

Gross, Remus! Why do you want to know?

**No, Wormy, you idiot! **

It was obviously something to do with Dark Magic.

**Duh! Wormtail, you can be so completely and utterly stupid sometimes, it's unbelieveable. **

_Stop picking on Peter. And I believe it's spelt 'unbelievable'._

**That's what I said!**

No you didn't, Sirius.

**Why is it that it only ever seems to be ME who uses our awesome nicknames?**

Oh! Sorry, Padfoot. I forget sometimes.

**You would.**

_So then, Padfoot, what are we doing this weekend?_

**Err… Prongs? Is he asking me out on a date? Sorry, Moony, I'm just… well, I'm… I love girls, they're… I'm not…**

_Gross! No, you idiot! I meant what are we all doing!_

**Oh! Well, there was no need to snatch the paper from me! Prongs stop laughing! You could have told me what he meant!**

It was too funny.

**Wormy? Where were you? Does no one ****love ****me?**

_You're such a drama queen._

Sorry. I was actually paying attention.

**Loser. And I am NOT a drama queen. I'm not a WOMAN, Moony! What kind of retarded freak do you think I am?**

_You really want me to answer that?_

**No. I'd prefer it if you didn't. **

Yeah, I don't think his ego could take it.

_His ego is huge; it needs a bit of deflating._

**Shut up about my ego! It's a perfectly normal size, thank you very much.**

Sure it is.

**Just because ****you've**** got nothing to be proud of, Wormy!**

_Well, thank Merlin for that! I've already got Padfoot and Prongs, another arrogant, bigheaded idiot and I think I might explode._

Shut up Moony. And I'm not as bad as Pads!

**1). You're worse!**

**2). Since when did you stop drooling over Evans and pay attention to our notes?**

**3). Since when do you call me Pads?**

_Must you state everything in lists?_

**I barely ever write lists. This is my first one yet.**

_But not the last?_

**No, not the last**

I'm not worse than you!

_You are Prongs. Sorry._

I don't 'drool'.

_No. You just stare and something that looks a lot like DROOL slips out of the side of your mouth._

**Gross, Moony! We don't need a fully descriptive play-by-play!**

I. DON'T. DROOOOOOOL.

**Yes. You. Dooooooooo.**

And, I don't know why I called you Pads. It just felt 'right'.

_Nothing about you is right. Everything is wrong, I tell you, wrong!_

**Moony's lost it. He just ran out screaming. Whoops, looks like he fell over on his way up to the school! Loser!**

_I'm still here, you freak!_

**What!?**

_You have a wild imagination, Mr. Padfoot._

**Aww, he called me MR. Padfoot. No one's called me that in ages. XD**

No one wants to hear about your little pet names for each other.

_They aren't pet names._

**Yeah, you FREAK. Haven't I proved that I like girls enough by now?**

Maybe you just date lots of different girls because you are confused by your sexuality.

**Or maybe you're an idiot.**

Great comeback.

**Thanks!**

_Uh… he was being sarcastic._

**I knew that.**

_I don't think you did._

**I did! I swear! I can do sarcasm as well, you know!**

_Sure you can._

**I can!**

_I believe you._

**Stop being sarcastic! You stress me out. Where are you going?**

_Why don't you ever realise when class is over?_

'**Cos I rock enough to NOT pay attention. Oh. He's gone. Why am I still writing? AGHHHH. CURSE YOU DAMNED PEN!**

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**REVIEW, please? :)**


	4. Peter is not a mouse being!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. **

**Thanks to Cuddly-Slytherin88 and xMrsJamesPotterx for your reviews. :)**

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POTIONS

**Guess what I did?**

What?

**Guess!**

_Just tell us._

**Guess!**

_We don't care._

**Fine, I won't tell you then.**

_Okay. _

**Okay.**

Why are we passing notes in Potions?

**Because Potions is boringgggg.**

What I meant to say was, 'Why are we passing notes in Potions when we could be staring at Evans?'

**Staring at Evans is boringgggg. She just gets freaked out and then tells you to get lost. Boringgggg. **

Not boring. And why do you have to add, like, ten g's to the end of boring?

**Five g's actually.**

_Four._

**No. FIVE.**

_No, you added FOUR. You made boring (ONE g) to boringgggg (FIVE g's). If you could count, then you would know that five minus one is FOUR._

**Merlin, Moony. Why do you have to be such a loser?**

No, actually, that's Peter's job.

**Haha, yeah.**

Hey! I am HERE, you know!

**But you never write.**

THAT'S BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PASSES ME THE NOTES! I HAVE TO STEAL THEM OFF REMUS!

**Well, THAT'S not very nice.**

THANK you.

**No. I mean stealing off Moony. Not very nice.**

Not very nice AT ALL.

I hate you guys.

**Without us, you would be SO bullied!**

WITH you, I am so bullied!

**Yeah, but without us, you would be SO bullied by everybody else in the school, too.**

Yeah!

**Prongs, I suggest you go back to staring at Evans. You don't participate much and when you do it's never very interesting or imaginative.**

Shouldn't you be saying this to Peter?

**Probably. But I choose you.**

Whatever. Evans is pretty, you're just jealous that she doesn't fancy you.

**And in what twisted, warped world does she fancy YOU?**

She will. One day.

_She won't. Ever._

Moony, you don't have to be so MEAN and pessimistic.

**It's not pessy… thingy. It's REAListic. And Moony, you said that so dramatically.**

_How do you know how I said it? I wrote it down, for Merlin's sake!_

**You wrote it so dramatically then. 'She won't. EVER.'**

_In my defence, I didn't use caps lock._

**You should have done.**

_You make NO sense whatsoever._

**Whatever. It works.**

_No. It doesn't._

**THERE we go with the dramaticness again! Merlin!**

_Dramaticness isn't a word, you moron._

**WOULD YOU _STOP _CALLING ME A MORON?**

_I will when you stop getting so angry at the tiniest little thing._

**I'm BORED and irritated! It's EASY for me to get angry.**

…

_..._

…

**….**

**Haha! I did four, mine's the biggest! Because I _am _the biggest!**

That's so not true, Padfoot! You're not fat!

**That's not what I meant. ;)**

Padfoot you dirty, dirty boy!

**You know you love it. Plus, you're hardly any better!**

I am a little better.

_True._

**True. I am _such_ a man.**

That's a good thing!

**Yeah, at least we're not like Moony.**

_What's that supposed to mean?_

You're such a girl!

_Again with the girl thing. It stung the first time but now it's just ANNOYING._

**That's what it's supposed to be. DUH!**

_I really don't like you right now._

**When do you ever like me?**

That's a fair point. Moony always seems to hate us. :'(

_I really do._

**You're an awful human being!**

_I was kidding! And I'm not exactly a human being; I am just a being. I am a werewolf being. _

**Well, then I am a dog being.**

And I am a stag being.

And I am a mouse being!

**No Peter, you idiot! You're a RAT! Get it right, for Merlin's sake, or just don't talk at all!**

This is why I hardly ever contribute to the notes!

I thought the reason you hardly ever contributed was the fact that we never pass them to you?

That too.

**Woo hoo! Stupid Potions with stupid Sluggy is finally over!**

I like Sluggy.

**Only 'cos he favours Evans.**

Pretty much.

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**That's it. **

**Reviews? :) x**


	5. Maybe Remus is a girl

****

Disclaimer: I don't own the Marauders. Most unfortunately :(

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CHARMS

You'll never guess who I snogged last night!

**Who?**

Mehume Parlow!

_That's interesting, James._

**Please! I snogged her last WEEK! She's old news mate!**

Really?

**Yeah! Who HASN'T snogged Parlow?**

I haven't.

_Rhetorical question, Wormy._

**Why do you only use Wormtail's nickname, and not ours? And, sorry, I **_**meant **_**'who, worthy of actually snogging a girl, HASN'T snogged Parlow?'**

Hey!

_I only use Wormtail's nickname, because he's decent._

I'm decent! And, Padfoot, that's a shock. I was dead proud of myself 'n' all.

**Aww, bless.**

_What about Lily?_

What about her?

_Well, she's hardly going to take you seriously if you kiss Mehume at the first chance you get?_

I can still snog other girls until she's ready for me, and then I can devote myself to her!

**Exactly! And since when is MOONY on first name terms with Parlow?**

_I'm not. I just think that Parlow is a rather disgusting name to call a girl. And calling a girl by her last name is rather rude if Miss isn't in front of it. And, James, maybe you can prove yourself another way?_

Like how?

_Well, if you want her to like you-_

I do!

_Don't snatch!_

Sorry, but you were taking ages!

_Like I was saying, if you want her to like you, then maybe you should show her by not dating any other girls for a while._

You mean… not 'getting any'?

_Exactly._

**Haha! Look at Prongie's face! Don't listen to him, Prongs! Make her jealous! Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen! **

_And have YOU ever had a relationship lasting longer than three days?_

**Four's my limit. But that's my choice, not theirs. I get what I want, and then I end it.**

_Disgusting._

**Say what you want, it works for me. ;)**

_You're repulsive._

**Jealous much?**

_Of you? AS IF!_

**Okay, no need to get so defensive!**

Yeah, anyone would think that you _were _jealous.

**Prongsie! You're back! I thought you'd never get out of your state of shock!**

_I would never be jealous of Padfoot's cruel inability to love._

**Shut up Moony! You sound like a girl!**

_Maybe I __am__ a girl._

_Okay, that didn't come out right._

_Reply!_

_Stop laughing!_

_You idiots. I'm leaving._

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**It's a lot shorter than my others. Sorry. Review, please. And should I put Lily in the notes as well? I'm not sure.**


	6. Death with an 'F'

**Thanks to ChibiNinja123 and settingsunrisingmoon for your kind reviews :D  
I think I will add Lily after a couple more without her. But I'm not too sure just yet. Thanks to RockingouttoPinkFloyd although now I'm really not sure whether to add Lily or not. I don't think I will.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.  
R&R, please**

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DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS

**The Professor we've got this year for DADA is so weird.**

I know! He's really odd, he always shouts in class.

_I think he's deaf._

**That's appalling! Do you mean, like, the grim or something?**

_No, you imbecile, that's __death.__ I wrote __deaf__, with an f!_

**Oh, right. So what's that, then?**

_Look it up._

**You're so mean! You're always saying words I don't understand and then you refuse to tell me what they mean. I _hate_ 'looking it up'. Like that time when you called me 'flamboyant', and I wasn't sure whether to be insulted or not. I still don't know what flamboyant means.**

_Look it up._

**You're horrible.**

I think _I _know what flamboyant means!

**As if! You're thicker than me, Wormy, and if I don't know what it means, then neither do you!**

Fine, I wont tell you then.

**Well, thank Merlin for that!**

You never know, Padfoot, one day you could need my help, and I'm going to remember how you treated me and maybe I won't give you my help!

**We will need _your_ help? What happened, did everybody else die or something?**

The day we need Wormtail's help is the day the world will end.

**Haha, whatever would we do without Peter's_ brilliant _help!**

Ha-ha, you guys. But you never know! Maybe I'll go… join You-Know-Who, or something!

You WOULDN'T!

No, I wouldn't. But maybe you should consider being nice to me every once in a while.

**Hmm… I've consider it, and… nope.**

Nope?

**Nope.**

Oh. I'll just go back to listening to the freaky Professor then, shall I?

**Yup.**

_You don't have to be so mean to him, you know. _

We kind of do.

**It's fun, Moony. You should try it some time.**

_No, I'm too busy being 'the sensible Marauder'._

**Since when does anyone call you 'the sensible Marauder'?**

It's obvious, isn't it? He's the 'sensible one', I'm the handsome one, you're the reckless one and Wormy's the loser one.

_No, not quite, Prongs. I'm the sensible one, you're the stupid one, Padfoot's the reckless one and Wormy's the cute one._

**Wormy? CUTE? I strongly doubt it. It's probably; I'm the amazingly sexy one, Prongs is the Quidditch-y one, Wormy's the loser one and Moony's the boring one.**

_There is no such word as Quidditch-y._

Yeah, but it's true.

I think-

**No one cares what you think, Wormy.**

Then why am I a Marauder?

You help with the occasional prank, and you never tell on us.

Oh. Well, anyway, I think that I'm the cute one, Moony's the sensible one, Padfoot's the reckless one, and Prongs is… probably the Quidditch-y one.

Why does nobody think that I am the handsome one?

**Because _I _am the handsome one.**

I thought you were the reckless one?

**I know. That sucks. Why did everyone put me as the reckless one?**

_You are the reckless one. And 3 people put me as the sensible one, not the boring one, so I guess that's what I am._

So I'm the Quidditch-y one, because that's what most of us said? That's just stupid. Quidditch-y isn't even a word!

**I think I'm more of the… datable one.**

_You mean the manslut one?_

**Haha. Well, I've never heard that one before.**

_Really?_

**So, as of 'most popular vote', I am the reckless one, Moony's the boring, _okay, _sensible one, Wormy's is a tie, and Prongs, we need to find a better one for you. Stupid, Quidditch-y and handsome truly aren't that great.**

Okay.

_Hey, Padfoot._

**Yeah?**

_You know the other day, in Potions…_

**Yeah?**

_You said 'Guess what I did', and you tried to make us guess, but we wouldn't and we said we didn't care, so you didn't tell us…_

**I believe that _you _said that you didn't care, but yes, go on.**

_Well, what was it?_

**It wasn't really that interesting. I put a firework in Snivelly's cauldron but it didn't blow up anyway, I think it was a dodgy one. I bought it from that Lockhart… I want my money back, actually! Thanks for reminding me, Moony!**

_Oh._

You put a firework in Snivelly's cauldron and didn't tell me?

**Yeah, err… I was going to, but I kind of… forgot.**

What about the Marauder's code?

**What Marauder's code?**

We don't have a Marauder's code? We need to write one!

**Yeah, we should.**

But anyway, that's hilarious! I wish it'd worked though.

**Me too. Snivelly's face would've been hilarious!**

_It's not very nice, is it?_

**Who really cares?**

_Sniv- I mean, Snape?_

**Just back down and call him Snivelly/Snivellus, Moony, you know you want to!**

_I really don't._

**Sure, you don't.**

_*sigh*_

**You see, I can do sarcasm as well! And stop sighing - it stresses me out!**

_Everything stresses you out._

Yeah, it's pretty easy to stress you out, Pads. All you have to do is say Walburga, or Bellatrix, or sigh and you start shouting and screaming like a banshee!

**I have never in my entire life, screamed like a banshee!**

Sure, whatever. Is that smoke I see coming out of your ears?

**Shut up, you buffoon.**

What's a buffoon?

**I'm not sure, Evans called me it the other day and I thought it sounded cool.**

You spoke to Evans without me! I'm hurt, Padfoot!

**You were chatting to Mary Macdonald!**

Oh yeah, she's a freaky one.

_Haven't we already discussed this._

**Oh, yeah. The subject does ring a few bells.**

_Anyway, a buffoon is a bit like a joker, a clown, and also a buffoon-_

**I really **_**don't **_**care, Moony. Note that I didn't say, "I'm not sure what a buffoon is but I really, really want to know," instead, I said, "I'm not sure."**

Why do you always have to explain everything, Moony? Can't you just let us have our fun?

_Okay, fine. I won't ever tell you what a word means ever again._

**Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!**

What's wrong with Padfoot?

_I don't know, but if he doesn't get up off the floor soon, this new freaky guy is going to get really angry._

I'm surprised he hasn't noticed yet, Padfoot IS screaming quite loudly and everybody's laughing.

_He's deaf remember?_

No. I don't know what deaf is.

_Oh yeah. Look it up._

Arghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did you do to Prongs to make him join Padfoot in his fit?

_Nothing._

Sure, I believe that.

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**A tiny bit longer than last time. I wasn't really sure what to put in this one, because I didn't actually have any ideas for it, I just sort of went along with it.**

**Reviews are always good. :) **


	7. Sirius Black: doesn't do relationships

**[A/N]I keep adding more and more, because I get a tiny little idea for one, and then I just keep adding them. I don't think I am going to put Lily in the notes, because she wouldn't really pass notes with them, seeing as she isn't really mates with them.  
Disclaimer: Nothing familiar is mine.**

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DETENTION

**Sucks that they gave us detention, huh?**

_It's your fault we're in here, Padfoot._

**Is NOT!**

_Remind me, WHO sprinkled stink pellets on Snape?_

**Me.**

_And WHO dropped the water balloon on him afterwards, claiming it was to 'clean him up a bit'?_

**Me.**

_And WHO told McGonagall it was all of us?_

Me.

**No Peter, it was me!**

Oh yeah. Sorry.

_And WHO-_

**All right, all right, I get it. I did it, okay?**

_Exactly my point_

**But just because it's my fault doesn't make it suck any less.**

_True. This is SO boring._

Let's play a game.

**Like what?**

I don't know… err… what was your worst girlfriend ever?

**I don't have 'girlfriends' as such, but… probably… UGH. That awful blonde girl I dated for a bit in 6****th**** year. What was her name, Myrtle?**

_Her name was Isabella._

**Close enough. Anyway, she was SO NEEDY and whenever we… you know… she asked me to call her Bella! It was like making out with my cousin! UGH!! *Shudders***

Haha, she was nuts!

_Is that all you ever think about, Padfoot?_

**What?**

_The… you know part?_

**Hey! Don't judge me! It's not like they don't know exactly what they're letting themselves in for! It's not MY fault that they think they can change me! It's not my fault I have natural charm and beauty! I don't DO relationships! I'm Sirius Black!**

_You say that like it's supposed to mean something._

**It does! Sirius Black: Amazingly sexy and handsome womaniser, doesn't **_**do **_**relationships.**

_Sirius Black: Arrogant, immodest prat, who's afraid of commitment, is all I'm hearing._

**Say what you want. The ladies love me.**

_They want to change you! You said so yourself!_

**You're just jealous, Moonpants. What's your worst girlfriend then?**

_MOONPANTS?!_

**It just popped into my head. Don't try and wriggle out of it, worst girlfriend?**

_I've only ever dated Jessica and she's hardly the 'worst girlfriend', because I have nobody to compare her to._

**Fair enough. Didn't she fancy _me_ in the end?**

_No. You think EVERYBODY fancies you. Actually, she sort of hated you a bit._

**Oh. **

_Not used to girls hating you, are you?_

**Actually, Evans kind of does, and so does every girl I've ever dated and dumped within 2 or 3 days. **

_Oh. Well, I can hardly blame them._

**Me either. That's why I don't get mad when they try to get their own back on me. Too bad I'm a prankster myself, or some of their stuff might actually have worked.**

_What do you mean?_

**Well, because of all the pranks Prongs and I do, I always make sure I always check the dorm and stuff before I go to sleep. Also, I know how to change back most of the stuff they did.**

_What did they do?_

**The usual; no eyebrows, no hair, incredibly bushy eyebrows, lots of boils and loads more.**

_So that's the reason you spend so long in the bathroom?_

**No. It's really quick and easy to get rid of those minor things. I spend so much time in the bathroom doing my hair and making sure I look amazing at all times.**

_You're so vain._

**And I have every reason to be.**

_Anyway... Prongs?_

What?

**Worst girlfriend?**

Ohhh. Easy, Casey Bryant, 5th year.

**She was a proper psycho!**

I know! When I broke up with her, she put itching powder in my bed! I had to sleep downstairs in the common room for a week!

_Moving on… Wormtail?_

I haven't ever had a girlfriend.

**What about your worst snog then?**

…

**Don't tell me you've never kissed anyone, either?**

Well, don't you sort of… have to have a girlfriend, to kiss someone?

**Oh. Don't you ever just walk up to someone you hardly know and snog them senseless when you're drunk?**

_Peter isn't that disgusting._

Anyway, we need to have a party now!

Why?

_Isn't that a little horrible, even for you guys, to celebrate the fact that Wormtail hasn't ever had a girlfriend?_

**No, silly! And what do you mean, 'even for you guys'? We're going to have a party so we can get a girl drunk and Wormy will kiss her!**

I'd say Tina; she's up for anything once she's had a good swig.

**Oh, yeah. But didn't she make out with Snivelly in fourth year?**

That was just a rumour. Mind you, we'd better not take our chances. How about Amisha?

**Perfect! It's ON!**

Say, this Friday night, Gryffindor common room?

**Wonderful! Just after we thrash Slytherin in the Quidditch match!**

_What if we lose?_

MOONY! DO YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN US?

**HORRENDOUS, OUR OWN BEST FRIEND, TURNING HIS BACK ON US!**

_I'm sure you will win, calm down, for Merlin's sake._

Okay, let's start planning operation GPL!

_GPL?_

**Get Peter Laid! Right?**

It was actually Get Peter Lips (action), but laid is better.

**Hell yeah! This is gonna be the best party ever! Get Petey his first girl, and we can pick and choose with the rest! No Slytherins though, right?**

Of course! This is SO going to ROCK!!!!

Uh, I didn't agree to this…

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**[A/N] Well the party should be interesting...  
Review, please :D x**


	8. Havoc in Heaven!

**Thanks to _RockingouttoPinkFloyd_, _Prongywong_ and _JoSchmo666_ for reviewing.  
Disclaimer: Nothing is mineeeee. If it were I'd have bags of money and I wouldn't be bothering to write this :D**ASTRONOMY

* * *

**Man, I'm tired. **

I know. And we really need a decent night's sleep tonight, because…

…**PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT!!!**

_I'd almost forgotten._

**Really?**

_No! How could I, when you go on about every second of the day?_

**Oh. Anyway, it's going to be SO good!**

I know!

Who have you invited again?

**All of the Gryffindors, obviously, because it's in **_**our**_** common room, all of the good looking Ravenclaw girls and some of the boys, but only a few Hufflepuffs have agreed to come so far.**

_You're so __vain_.

**Why? I didn't say anything about my sexiness all through that!**

"_All of the good looking Ravenclaw girls."_

**Well, obviously. We don't want ugly geeks there! Peter wants a **_**decent **_**snog!**

You know, I'm not so sure about this…

You can't back out now! You promised!

No I didn't! I never agreed in the first place, you just forced me into it as a way for you guys to get girls! You don't even care about me!

'Course we do.

**By the way, Wormy, Amisha can't make it, so it'll have to be Tina after all.**

I'm going to kill you.

As if! We'll _never _die, right Pads?

**Right, Prongs! And if we do, we'll die laughing!**

_I bet you actually __do__ die laughing, Padfoot. It's just something you'd do._

**Aww, I know. And I bet Prongsie dies fighting for the woman he lurrrves.**

Evans, you mean? Yup. I've got a good one, I bet Wormy kills himself! He's so pathetic!

Hey! No way, I'll have a noble death, I'm going to die fighting!

**No, I think Moony boy will die fighting.**

_I think we all will._

Except Peter

**Yeah.**

Thanks!

**Anytime. **

So, why can't Amisha come then, Padfoot?

**Oh, err… she err… she… came down with… something.**

It's not like Madam Pomfrey to not be able to fix it before tomorrow night. It must be serious.

**It is. Err… tragic, actually, she could… err… die.**

Only, I saw her today at lunchtime, looked fine to me. In fact, she was actually mak- OWWWWWWWW!! Padfoot, you don't have to make an attempt on my life! I was going to say… she was actually making some… cards. Yeah, that's it. At lunch today, she was making cards. And she certainly wasn't ill.

What? I'm so confused…

_What Padfoot was going to say, before Prongs hit him, was that Prongs was making out with Amisha at lunch today. That's why you can't kiss her tomorrow night._

That's so mean! I didn't even want to do this anyway, and now you make out with her?

**I didn't mean to! I asked her if she could… come to our party tonight, and she thought I meant with me… and then, and then I explained, and she laughed, and then I laughed, and then well, err… it just… happened?**

Some friend you are. 

**Sorry.**

_You're not the least bit sorry, are you?_

**Nope, not at all. Now I have _two _girlfriends! **

I thought you had two, anyway?

**No, I broke up with Jenny last night. She was too… clingy.**

_That's what you say about __all__ of your girlfriends._

**It's not my fault they all want me 24/7!**

_When you die, I hope it'll be because of some STD. Because then you'll be sorry you do this all the time._

Life is going to _suck_ when we die.

**I know! We rock way too much! I bet you die before me, though.**

That's not fair.

**Think about me! Life will be so rubbish for me when you die!**

_That's SO Padfoot._

**What?**

_James dies, but all you can say is 'think about me!'_

Shut up. Anyway, Pads, it'll get so much better when you die.

**Oh, thanks! What a nice complement, **_**life is great when you die**_**!**

Nooo… I meant it'd get so much better in heaven. I'll welcome you home mate.

**I know! We are going to cause such havoc in heaven!**

_Assuming you go there, of course._

Shut up! I'll be there with my Lilyflower, and Padfoot can chat up all the dead girls.

**It's gonna be great! I bet Moony dies last…**

Yeah. It's going to be so gay when Moony comes to heaven.

_Hey!_

**I am so **_**not **_**gonna welcome Moony home when he dies.**

Me either, Pads. Moony annoys me.

_You guys are __real__nice! Well, I'll remember this when you go to prison and you want __me__ to bail you out!_

**As if you'd bail us out, anyway! You'd be in there **_**with **_**us, telling us how stupid we are for getting you put in jail!**

_No, you are __not__ taking me down with you!_

**Shut up Moony. You know you love it.**

What about me?

**You wouldn't be there; you'd be the one who put me in Azkaban in the first place!** Would NOT!

You would TOO, Pete, you little rat!

Stop being so mean. And why do we have to keep talking about death?

**He has a point, you know. Let's talk about something happier, like… OUCH.**

Ouch?

_I think he has a letter from somebody._

**Well, that hurt! WHAT? This came all the way from Bella's class? Wherever _that _is. It says: _Watch your back, Black._**

That's it? And, 'back, Black'? Is that supposed to be some sort of 'hilarious' pun?

**Who knows how her sick, twisted mind works? Maybe it has something to do with that love potion I slipped into her pumpkin juice the other morning…**

Who?

_Bellatrix! Weren't you paying __any__ attention?_

**_I _know what he meant. Lucius.**

HAHA! I bet Narcissa was-

**Furious. Yes. And so was Roldophus. **

_Roldophus?_

**Bella's boyfriend**

You ROCK!

**I really do.**

How'd that note get all the way… _here?_

**Owl. It pecked me :(**

Ohh. **Yeah. For the next one, I'm not sure if I should talk about the party, in notes, or actually do an one-off thing where it's not in note form. I'm not too sure, let me know which one I should do.**

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**Revieeeeew please, and I'll be very happy :D **


	9. Moony's a bad boy

**It had to be on a Saturday, because then it would all work and link in etc. Quite short, at least... shorter than my others, I think.  
Thank youuuu very much to _JoSchmoo666, Eri' N' Ali, StrawberryFields4EverandEver _and _ElementUchihaMaster _for reviewing. I took your advice, and did it in note form. :D  
Disclaimer: You know what I'm gonna say...**

**

* * *

**

**DETENTION... on a Saturday.**

**Well that was a very… **_**eventful**_** night. **

Yes. VERY eventful INDEED. Care to explain, Moony, you dirty, dirty boy?

_Okay, that comment was UN-CALLED for! And it was an ACCIDENT! I didn't mean to! It was an ACCIDENT. ACCIDENT, I TELL YOU!_

**Yeah, yeah, WHATEVER Moonarse**

Moonarse? That one was funny :D

_It was NOT. _

**Whatever Moony. You're a bad boy, and you deserve to be insulted.**

_HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! IT JUST HAPPENED TO BE A COINCIDENCE THAT WHEN I WENT TO THE-_

Hey guys. Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

**WORMY! Where did YOU get to last night?**

So where was it Wormtail, the broom closet, or maybe-

_Pfft! The broom closet! Peter has a LITTLE more class than that! _

**Shut up Moony. I go in there all the time!**

Yeah, and you're in no position to criticise people's class, with what YOU did last night.

What did he do?

**You mean you didn't see? You didn't HEAR?**

McGonagall certainly did.

What happened? What did Remus do to McGonagall?

**Hey! You leave Minnie out of this!**

Remus didn't do anything to HER, what he did and who he did it to is far, far more sordid than that!

_You guys are disgusting! You're reading things into things that are just plain STUPID!_

**It's not just us! Minnie, the rest of the teachers, the ghosts, pretty much the ENTIRE SCHOOL (courtesy of Prongs and my gorgeous self) think its gross.**

'Distasteful, foul, low, grimy, dirty," – just a few of the words I happened to overhear.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

**Well, once you got off with whats-er-face, err… some help here? **

Harriet

Harriet? That isn't what we agreed! How did SHE get into the party?

**Not only is she a SLYTHERIN, but also she is COMPLETE SKANK, (which, admittedly, isn't so bad in your case), but REPULSIVE, anyway. Also, how DID she get in? And, Peter!! I thought you were going with…?**

Jenny?

**No, err… DAMN IT. ARGHHHH.**

Tasha?

**TINA! THAT WAS IT! I thought you were getting off with her?**

I never agreed to that, and neither did she, apparently. You were off snogging some girl, Prongs was annoying Lily, and Remus was… where WAS Remus? Anyway, no one had given her a drink ALL NIGHT, so she wasn't drunk, as you had so _cleverly _planned. So, she refused to kiss me. And punched me when I did attempt to kiss her. And then Harriet took pity on me and we went outside for a while…

**Took pity on you?**

Lured you into one of her ridiculous skanky games, more like.

**She probably doesn't even like you, it's just a ploy Bella or someone is using to get at me.**

Oh yeah! Because its ALL ABOUT YOU, isn't it? For once, you can't stand the fact that someone actually likes ME!

**You're acting as if I'm… jealous, or something? I've had my fair share Pete; I don't care.**

I RECKON YOU _ARE_ JEALOUS.

**Or maybe you're just STUPID! A SLYTHERIN? Really, Pete, are you THAT thick? **

You're just prejudiced because you have a rotten family! It's not MY fault they hate you! It's not MY fault you've been turned against Slytherins because of them! It's not MY fault you got KICKED OUT and had to live with James! Some of them are actually quite NICE.

**Well, that's just LOVELY. I wasn't BLAMING YOU for my family being horrible, and I LEFT, they didn't 'KICK ME OUT'! And I can't believe you pulled out the family card. That was a low blow, Peter. Fine, LET YOURSELF be used. Let yourself get HURT, and then you'll see that I was just trying to be a GOOD FRIEND.**

Oh yeah, because you're SUCH a GREAT friend to me, aren't you? I'm just a flipping tissue to you, aren't I? You just use me, and then chuck me away when you're done with covering me in your CRAP. 

"Uhh… guys? Detention is over now. Guys? GUYS? We can leave now."

"**FINE!" _Storms off._**

"FINE!" _Storms off in opposite direction to Sirius._

"Ohhw" *:(*

"_What?"_

"We never got to tell him what happened with you and-"

"_Shut up!! And as well, our two best friends just had a huge fight and all you can think about is THAT?" _

"Don't fight with me, as well! And don't storm off, either! COME BACK! Oh great, now I'm not even stuck with Mr. Stroppy Moonarse over there! Still, I guess Peter and Sirius would be just as stroppy. HEY! Sirius isn't angry with ME! I'll go find him! Why am I talking out loud to myself?"

_**"Yes, Mr. Potter. It is rather disturbing."**_

"Sorry, Professor McGonagall."

* * *

**Btw, I didn't add in the reason WHY they got detention, because that links in with the whole Moony thing. Intriging, isn't it? :)  
I didn't really plan the fight, I just sort of randomly added it in.  
Reviewwww please. :D  
I sort of have an idea on what it is (the Moony thing), but if anyone has any other ideas, I'll be happy to hear them :D**


	10. Remus smells popcorn

**Thank you very much to _Prongywong, JoSchmo666_ and _Arial C. Rilmonn _for your reviews. :D  
Disclaimer: You know the drill... :)**

* * *

TRANSFIGURATION

_Where's Padfoot?_

Skiving.

_Oh. Why aren't you with him? You usually are._

He's with some girl in our dorm. Wants to be _alone._

_As per usual_

Yup

_So, is there any particular reason as to why he isn't in THIS lesson, his favourite?_

Err… I think it has something to do with W-

Hi

_Hi, Wormtail._

-

What's that?

_I think that's his way of showing that he doesn't want to talk to you._

Oh. Why?

I am not talking to him because he was a complete idiot on Saturday, Moony.

_Okay. _

Tell him then!

He knows. And HE has a name.

I believe that HE no longer has a name. He is He Who Must Not Be Named from now on.

_Now, that's a little harsh._

Yeah, don't compare me to You-Know-Who!

I wasn't comparing you to _Voldemort; _I was merely stating that you should not be named.

Is this why you were ignoring me all of the weekend?

Mr. Prongs would like to inform Mr. _Moony _that He Who Must Not Be Named is a complete and utter pathetic idiot for not realising this sooner.

This is a joke, right? You don't aren't seriously taking Sirius' side? No pun intended.

This is no laughing matter. Of course I am taking Sirius' side. You were really stupid. He was just trying to protect you, and what you said about his family was really insensitive.

He was the one saying I couldn't even get a girl, that they MUST be using me because I'm too pathetic!

He never said that. He stated it as a possibility. And, judging by your performance on Saturday, you ARE a bit pathetic.

Okay, FINE, I'm pathetic! But Sirius was still in the wrong!

No he wasn't.

Yes he was.

No he wasn't.

WAS

WASN'T

WAS

WASN'T

_SHUT UP! Why don't you just agree to disagree?_

Fine. But He Who Must Not Be Named should apologise first.

Sorry for doing… whatever, to you. But not to Sirius, HE was wrong. Also, you should stop calling me He Who Must Not Be Named, it's annoying and rude, and it must take forever to write.

I accept your apology to me, but I still am quite angry with you and don't like you very much for what you did to Padfoot. I am going to be civil, but let me make it quite clear that I am on Padfoot's side. Also, thank Merlin I don't have to call you HWMNBN anymore, you were correct, it DID take forever to write. Congrats, Peter, the first time you've ever been right!

One). Fine, you never really liked me much anyway, and I knew you'd take HIS side, seeing as you live together and everything and it must be easier for you that way.  
Two). I have been right before, for example, on SATURDAY.

Stop doing lists, that's Padfoot's thing. You do lists really stupid, anyway, you don't put nearly enough points to make a list, and you write 'one' instead of '1'. You are stupid. Anyway, I didn't take his side because it is EASIER for me, I took his side because he is RIGHT. You were NOT right on Saturday!!!!!

_I thought we were agreeing to disagree?_

Sure.

Sure.

I still hate you, Peter.

Say Wormtail?

No way. Padfoot came up with that name, and you don't deserve it anymore.

Thank Merlin; it was never that great to begin with!

Okay, then. Wormtail.

Yay!

Peter.

:(

Good. You deserve to be upset.

Can you tell me what Moony did now?

_NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

Hmm… I'm in a very difficult position now. I really want to tell SOMEONE who doesn't know, but… I don't want to tell YOU. You don't deserve to know.

_Hey, if everyone knows, why didn't you ask someone else?_

'Cos he doesn't have any friends.

NO! Because whenever I ask anyone, they just look at me disgustedly, call me a pervert, and sometimes other far worse things, and run away. 

Hahahahahahaha!

Humph.

I'm not going to tell you! When you finally give in and apologise to Padfoot, then we can both tell you together.

Well, then I'll never know.

Fine, because _he's_ not going to apologise to _you_, and why should he?

He's so stubborn.

Err… HELLO? Pot calling the kettle black or WHAT?

_How do you know that muggle phrase?_

Lily said it to me when I told this Hufflepuff boy to stop pestering her and leave her alone.

Of COURSE I call him black! That's stupid.

Oh, maybe I shouldn't have used it in this particular situation…

_The situation being…?_

Padfoot being called Sirius BLACK

_Oh yeah. _

Soooo… are you gonna tell me, or what?

No. I'm going to watch you _squirm._

Ohhhh please! I even asked McGonagall, but she just told me to stop being such a rude, nosy little boy and mind my own business! And then she asked me why I didn't already know.

_Wow. I'm really hungry. And I smell popcorn._

Hey! That's Padfoot's line! And what's popcorn?

_Padfoot isn't here, so I thought I should say it. Popcorn is popcorn. It's a muggle thing._

How the HELL do you know so much about muggles?

_How the hell don't you?_

What do you mean?

_You took Muggle Studies with me!_

Oh yeah. Well, I'm not expected to remember EVERYTHING! And I only did it to impress Evans, anyway.

_That's your reason for everything. _

I should have taken CoMC, with Peter and Sirius (actually, maybe not, seeing as they're fighting and it would be awkward), because Evans did, and then I could stare at her. Although, I'm not sure which is better…

_Ooh, what a choice! It's so tough! Staring at Lily and CREEPING her out, or boasting about your knowledge of muggles and infuriating her, and kind of CREEPING HER OUT because you know so much. Like I said, what a choice…_

The choices are actually, looking at Evans' beautiful face all day, or astonishing her with my new found knowledge.

_Yeah right._

You are one cruel person, Moony. No wonder you have hardly any friends.

_I have loads of friends!_

Like I said before, who?

_Like __I__ said before, that boy I sat next to in Herbology the one time (I've now learnt that his name is Nathan), Lily and… others."_

Sure, Moony, _SURE._

**Sorry I didn't include what Moony did, but all will be revealed in the next chapter :D So keep reading.  
And review, or I won't update :D.**


	11. Padface? Greaseface

**Disclaimer: You already know it, so why bother?  
Also, I WILL put Divination/Ancient Runes etc. in eventually, but for the sake of the storyline, it's going back round again.  
Reviews were lovely, thanks to everyone who did. Review, I mean.  
Btw, they DO actually like Ted. It's just fun to poke fun at him :D**

* * *

DADA

**Mr. Padfoot inquires as to why he is constantly referred to as 'Padface'. It doesn't even make sense.**

Mr. Prongs believes that it has something to do with the shape of Mr. Padfoot's face. Mr. Prongs is only joking.

**Mr. Prongs had better be joking, or Mr. Padfoot won't be the only one with a distorted face. Mr. Padfoot just laughed at Snivellus. It was funny.**

Mr. Prongs congratulates Mr. Padfoot on laughing at Sniv and encourages him to laugh more in future. Mr. Prongs enjoyed sitting next to Mr. Padfoot's only cool cousin, Dromeda, at lunch today.

**Mr. Padfoot thanks Mr. Prongs for his congrats, and will definitely laugh more! Mr. Padfoot is happy that Mr. Prongs enjoys Dromeda's company. He wishes that he didn't have to share his cousin with that plonker, Ted :(**

Mr. Prongs suggests that Mr. Padfoot sings the bridal march, and flicks Greaseface, repeatedly. Mr. Prongs dislikes Ted Tonks.

**Haha at 'Greaseface'! Good one! And, Mr. Padfoot took Mr. Prongs' advice, and it resulted in his injury. Mr. Padfoot wonders whether this was Mr. Prongs' plan all along. Mr. Padfoot dislikes Ted, too, he wonders whether Mr. Prongs feels this angst for Ted because he fancies Dromeda? Just a thought…**

I apologise profusely for Greaseface's disgusting behaviour. I most certainly am not 'fancying' Dromeda – I believe _that _would be Moony.

**Where is Moony?**

Recovering from Full Moon in hospital wing.

**Oh yeah. Anyway, I accept your humble apology. Greaseface's behaviour WAS disgusting! I apologise for accusing you of such things. Mr. Moony sickens me. And I would much rather that you dated Dromeda, than Ted or the disgusting, grey, hairy pervert!**

Isn't Andromeda OLDER than Moony?

**Shut up, you moron. No one asked YOU to join in the conversation.  
****I hate Pettigrew.**

Who doesn't?

**Moony?**

Oh yeah.

**Well, before that THING interrupted, I believe we were talking…?**

Oh yeah, I am also sickened by Moony, and I would like to say that I would be happy to date dear Dromeda, but alas, my heart belongs to Evans. I would also like to add that the man on page 107 greatly resembles your mother.

**I wish things were different. Oh yeah, he does indeed. And, the boy on page 106 greatly resembles Elilah, the house elf.**

Isn't Elilah a girl?

**For Merlin's sake! Is he STILL here? NO ONE WANTS YOU HEAR, PETTIGREW. GET LOST.**

How charming.

**I'm sorry, WEREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION? GO AWAY.  
****Anyway, YAY MOONY'S BACK!**

_Hi, Guys. I've recovered quite well. :D _

Geez, Moony. Your handwriting's as big as your arse! **[A/N: Moony's handwriting was supposed to get bigger here, but I realised I couldnt do it :(. But I love the comment, so I kept it in]**

_Oh, sorry. And, HEY! _

**Oh well. The Fat Lady rocks! I'm hungry.**

Me toooo. Did _she _write that?

**Haha, dude! NO! =)**

It's the sort of thing she'd say! This lesson is going very slow!

**I know man! Grrr!  
****I can't wait for lunch; I've got a yummy chocolate bar! I'm so excited!  
****Prongs? PRONGS?  
****Stop staring at Ted and reply!**

It's fun to creep him out.

**It is, isn't it? Continue.**

Thank you.

Hi, Moony. How was the full moon last night? I wouldn't know seeing as I was 'mysteriously' LOCKED INSIDE OUR DORMITORY AT THE LAST MINUTE.

**Oh, sorry, Pettigrew. My mistake. I thought you were a piece of shit, so I decided to lock you up in order to keep the stench inside. By the way, my fan girls have a message for you.**

_Language!_

Oh yeah? And what's that?

**Okay, here we go: PISS OFF!**

You can tell your fan girls-

**Sorry, I don't talk to my fan girls. They just follow me places. Now, if you please, take their advice and go away?**

Fine. Lesson's over now, anyway. 

**Well, that was rude.**

What?

**When he walked away, I could have sworn I heard him mutter 'prick' under his breath.**

Yeah. Might've been 'dick', though…

**Yeah, maybe…**

* * *

Rather short. Ooh, the drama :D.  
They will make up... eventually. Oh YEAH, and I need to add in what Moony did. Soz. I forgot.  
Next time, I promise :D.  
You know what I'm gonna say... review :D


	12. Sirius calls dibs on the full moon

**Thanks to _Prongywong, asiankim97 _and _lilyre _for reviewing :)**

* * *

Just to remind you:

**Sirius is bold**

James is normal

_Remus is italics_

Peter is underlined

_**Lily is bold, italics and underlined.**_

**By the way, she is only going to appear in the next two notes. And that is it.**

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**Disclaimer: You know.**

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POTIONS

Well, that was strange!

**What?**

I just walked past Evans and Weasley in the corridor, and I bashed into Evans, she dropped some weird muggle pointy thing, and then Weasley picked it up eagerly and asked if he could keep it.

**Arthur Weasley? He's a bit obsessed with muggles, isn't he? He's like… my second cousin twice removed or something. I'm really not sure. Mum never talked about the Weasleys much. At all actually. She avoided the topic as if it were some terrible disease. Awful, vulgar, vindictive, malicious, spiteful-**

_Okay, we get it. Ugh, Slughorn is always looking at the sales section in the Daily Prophet!_

**What's he buying, crystallized pineapple?**

Haha. That's all he's interested in!

_He's buying t-shirts._

Oh Merlin. Do they sell t-shirts that size?

**He should buy Merlin's sock, that's all he's worth.**

_I doubt he's even worth that. _

**Anyway, why are you staring at **_**him **_**all of a sudden? Is he your next **_**victim?**_

_VICTIM? What do you MEAN? It was a COMPLETE accident, and you know it!_

Yeah right, Moony. Now's the time to come out of the closet. I mean, it's not like you just _thought _it was a girl, and then walked into the bathroom and began _groping _Professor Dumbledore by _accident! _

_That is SO not what happened!_

**Oh yeah? Well, why don't we all tell our versions of the stories, and see who's right? **

_Who will judge who's right?_

EVANS, EVANS, EVANS!!

**If we can get her to**

_**What do you want?**_

You know about what happened Saturday night…

_**Yeah?**_

Well, listen to all of our versions of the story, and then… tell us who's right?

_**And WHY would I want to do that, Potter? It's Potions class!**_

Err… okay, then, why don't we continue this in History of Magic?

… _**Okay. I guess. Goodbye, Potter, Black, Remus.**_

**That's SO unfair, she calls me 'Black', and yet she calls Moony by his first name!**

_That's because I rock. So I guess we'll postpone our little stories until another time then._

This is possibly the most boring lesson EVER! Ugh, Snivellus is being such a loser! The stench is unbearable.

**I know. I feel so sorry for you! I can't believe stupid Sluggy split us up and put you next to **_**Snivellus! **_

_At least the person you're sitting next to isn't some freak who constantly shrieks whenever his potion turns a funny colour. Which happens __a lot._

**Hey! **_**I **_**sit next to you!**

_Exactly my point_

**You are treacherous. **

_You are annoying._

**I know. I rock.**

_You really don't. _

He really does.

**Oui, oui, ****très**** bien ma ****chérie****! **

Since when did you know German?

**It's French, actually. And I learnt it to impress those new exchange students from Beauxbatons.**

_Doesn't 'ma __chérie__' mean 'my love', or something?_

**Oh yeah. How did you know that?**

_Picked it up over the years._

**Tu ****es ****bizarre****! **

Stop talking in Spanish; I don't know what you're saying!

**It's FRENCH, Prongsie! FRENCH! You know, you should learn it too; it'll get you better luck with the ladies.**

I don't need any luck with 'the ladies', thank you; I'm doing quite well with Evans.

**Oh **_**yeah**_**, you're doing **_**magnificently! **_**Still on last name terms, I'd say you've got a real shot!**

Shut up! Hey, why isn't Wormtail in these notes?

**Because **_**Wormtail**_**, ugh, I can't believe he still uses the nickname that **_**I **_**chose for him, is a disgusting, despicable, vulgar, boar-like, ratish- **

'_Ratish' isn't a word. And I believe I chose the nickname. And, after the __last__ incident, who's going to come on the next full moon if you two are still fighting, you obviously can't be trusted enough to come together._

_**ME**_**, ME, ME! I CALL DIBS! **

_That's not fair; Wormtail isn't included in the notes!_

**That's because **_**Wormtail **_**is a vulgar, boar-like, despicable, disgusting, ratish- **

_ANYWAY, maybe you __could__ both go, I mean, it's not like you'll talk?_

But Sirius might rip Peter's tail off.

**Yeah. The best idea is for **_**me **_**to come, and to leave that filthy stinking liar. Anyway, a dog is SO much more useful than a rat.**

_Who's going to press the knot?_

**Same as last time, we'll just levitate a long stick and poke it with it.**

Yeah. One of _my _magnificent ideas, I believe.

**I'm starving.**

Lunch soon.

**Really?**

_Yeah._

Seven minutes to go!

**That's AGES!**

No it isn't!

**It kind of is.**

_It isn't. Stop being such a ravenous pig, Padfoot._

**Ravenous! Couldn't you have just said greedy?**

_Oh yeah. And then you wouldn't have taken the mickey out of me._

We probably still would have.

**Yeah. **

'Cos we rock.

'**Cos we ro-ock, we rock ON.**

_Isn't that song going to come out in the MUGGLE world many years from now?_

**Err… I own a time turner? And I met the future Arthur Weasley?**

You're a little bit obsessed with Arthur, aren't you Pads?

_Aww, do you have a little crush?_

**On ARTHUR? Please, you HAVE to be joking.**

_Don't be so mean._

Yeah, clearly there's something there that _Prewett_ likes.

**Please, there's only ONE thing there that Prewett likes, and it's his c-**

Okayyyyy, we DON'T need to hear about Arthur's c-

_SHUT UP!_

**Ooh, getting a bit shirty, are we Moony? If I couldn't SEE that your hair is kind of not greasy, I'd think you were turning into SNIVELLUS. **

_I am nothing like Sni- SEVERUS. And what do you mean 'KIND OF?!'_

**Err… maybe we should go now…**

Yeah, I think Remus is spontaneously combusting.

**You're so obsessed with that!**

I know! CLASS OVER, WOOP :D.

* * *

**Woop, woop :)  
All will be revealed about Moony next chapter :)  
Review please =]]]**


	13. Evans listens to their stupid stories

**And here's another chapter. :D  
Loveeeeeeeeeely. Last one with Lily :)**

* * *

HISTORY OF MAGIC

**Evans! **

_**What?**_

**Remember our agreement?**

_**No.**_

Evans, you promised!

_**Okay, okay, I'll listen to your stupid stories.**_

**Ooh, me first, me first! Right, well… I was making out with, err… someone… without a name. And then Moony comes over to me, and he was rather drunk, and he asks me where Sarah is. I, being the lovely, charming, innocent person that I am, tell him I have no clue, and warn him off the booze. He ignores me, and downs more and more firewhiskey until he is completely off his head, I plead with him to put the bottle **_**down, **_**but my words fall on deaf ears. Anyway, so the next minute, Moony has completely disappeared, and then I hear Dumbledore, only Merlin knows what he was doing in **_**our **_**bathroom, yelling for help, screaming that Moony is behaving like a crazed lunatic. I rush over to help, and a sorry sight meets my poor eyes. Moony, sprawled out on the ground, giggling, and Dumbledore, hastily covering himself up and giving vicious looks to Moony. And that is what happened.**

_That is so completely and utterly and absurdly UNTRUE._

_**Err… it IS slightly far-fetched, Black.**_

**What do you mean?**

What she means is, 'lovely, charming, innocent'? And, 'plead with him to put the bottle down'? AS IF! And, 'rush over to help'? More likely, rush over to laugh and take photographs!

**Shut up.**

_**Remus, would you like to go next?**_

No, it's okay, _I _will.

_No, it's MY turn. So, Padfoot and Prongs made a bet with me that I couldn't down a whole load of firewhiskey in one go, and so I prove them wrong. Padfoot was snogging his psychopath ex-girlfriend, Emma, and Prongs was annoying Lily. Padfoot keeps giving me more and more drinks, until I feel rather dizzy. I ask him if anyone is in the bathroom, he tells me nobody is in there. So, I walk over, open the door to the dark room, and sit down on the toilet seat, only to find that DUMBLEDORE was already sitting there, doing a great big fat numbero dos! I was terrified, and he accused me of abusing him!_

**Most of that absolute RUBBISH was COMPLETELY untrue. The only true part was the ****numero**** dos part!**

Anyway, my turn, my turn! Okay, so… Padfoot and I dared Moony to down a whole load of firewhiskey, and he did it! After that, he got a bit addicted to the stuff, and wouldn't stop drinking it! I just laughed at this, and continued to flirt with Evans-

_**Flirt WITH? I doubt it.**_

Okay, err… flirt AT Evans? Anyway, so, as much as she seemed very… impressed, by me, she left me all alone. Moony is quite out of control by this point, and is dancing around like a drunken maniac. He asks Padfoot and I where Sarah is, and I tell him that she is in the bathroom, because that is what I truly thought. Anyway, so, I think you know how it ends… he walks in there, tries to grope Sarah, and it turns out to be Dumbledore! And _that _is truly what happened.

_**Well, what I saw happen, was Potter and Black betted Remus that he couldn't down the firewhiskey, and then he, foolishly, did. Black kept slipping him more and more until he was rather drunk. Then, he asked Potter and Black if anybody was in the bathroom, and then looked at each other rather mischievously. As I walked past them, I heard Black say that nobody was in there. So Remus walked over to the bathroom, and the next I heard, there were shouts issuing from there, and accusations flying everywhere.**_

_It was YOUR fault! You set me up!_

**Now, now, Moony… calm down, it was just a joke, we didn't actually **_**know **_**who was in the bathroom!**

We just knew that somebody _was _in there! We didn't mean for _this _to happen!

_Girls avoid me everywhere I go-_

**Not much changed there, then ;)**

_-Teachers look at me with disgusted looks, Dumbledore refuses to speak to me, and I haven't GOT ANY for days all because of YOU TWO!!_

_**Err… I'm going to go, now.**_

**Wise idea, Evans**

Moony, to be honest with you, not much has changed…

…**You never got any anyway! And, well… the teachers **_**always **_**look at you disgustedly, because you hang out with the coolest pranksters in Hogwarts history! **

_I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALL YOU'RE FAULT! I HATE YOU TWO, I REALLY DO!_

**Ohhhhh, Moonyyyyyy. Pleaaaaaaaase don't hate me! Enough people hate me already without adding you to the list!**

What list?

**1). My mother**

**2). My father**

**3). Regulus**

**4). Bellatrix**

**5). Narcissa**

**6). Aunt Druella**

**7). The rest of my family (which is about eight or nine more points) –apart from Dromeda-**

**8). Snivellus (which is a good thing, really)**

**9). Pettigrew (even better)**

**10). Lucius Malfoy (I have no idea _why_…)**

**And there are many, many more, but I really can't be bothered.**

_Okay, okay, I don't HATE you. But I am very angry. I'm even considering going over to Peter's side!_

Traitor!

**But you were never on MY side to begin with! You were on the fence!**

_I suppose I shouldn't have ever expected more from you two…_

**Is he forgiving us?**

Already?

**We didn't even apologise!**

I would have let us stew for a few days or so…

_Do you want me to take it back, and NOT talk to you for the rest of the year? _

**…**

…

_Which INCLUDES not letting you come on the full moon, and going with just Peter, instead!_

**NO! Please forgive us, Moony!**

We're so sorry!

**We never should have done it!**

_Forgiven. I've got to go now, bye._

**Falls for it every time…**

**

* * *

There we go.  
Reviewwwwwwwwws. Thanks :)  
By the way, Peter will be back next time. Unfortunately :(**


	14. Dogs banned from the Three Broomsticks!

**Thanks to _Prongywong, RockingouttoPinkFloyd _and _BrokenSnow.X _for your reviews :)  
As requested, Lily _isn't _in this one :D**

**Oh yeah, I almost forgot, disclaimer: It isn't my stuff, it's JKR's. Bla bla bla :D**DIVINATION

* * *

_I can't believe you did that, Padfoot._

**Well, believe it! 'Cos it happened.**

_Why…_

**I didn't know she would ban dogs from the Three Broomsticks!**

_Why did you do it, though?_

**Do you really need an answer to that?**

_But come on, surely even YOU could see that it was going to end badly._

**Nope. Not a clue. I go with my manly instincts.**

_I can see that. Sticking your head up Rosmerta's skirt, yes, very manly._

**Like I said, **_**I **_**didn't know she'd ban dogs from the Three Broomsticks JUST for that!**

_Just! You practically raped the woman!_

**Okay, now that is going a LITTLE bit too far, Moony. All I did, was have a little peek up her skirt.**

_You stuck your fat head right up there! Thank Merlin nobody but us knows that you're an Animagus._

**Yeah. But James found it hilarious! Why can't you be more like him?**

_Because I am not an idiot_

**Whatever. It sucks that I'm not allowed back into the Three Broomsticks now, though.**

_You are as a human!! Anyway, we need to get back to Divination._

**I hate this stupid subject, why did we have to take it?**

_I know. I wish I'd taken Ancient Runes with Prongs and Wormtail._

**Ugh! Ancient Runes? I don't know what's worse. **

_I certainly do._

**That Trelawney girl is such a freak! Whenever I say anything, she always repeats it loudly as if you're too thick to hear!**

_I know. Why did she sit on our table, anyway? We don't even know her!_

**Maybe she fancies me.**

_Or MAYBE she has no friends. Not everything in the world revolves around YOU._

**Okay, okay, calm down! Anyway, I'm hungry.**

_You're ALWAYS hungry! I wish I didn't take this STUPID lesson with STUPID you._

**Okay, another list coming along (I haven't actually done one in ages!)**

**1). I am NOT always hungry; I'm currently going through a growth spurt.**

**2). I am not stupid. And you're rather mean.**

**3). CALM DOWN.**

**4). You have never used such bad grammar, personally, Moony I am ASHAMED.**

_You ALWAYS write lists. You have been going through the same growth spurt for the past __four years.__ I am not mean, and you are definitely stupid. I am calm now. What the hell gives YOU the right to be ashamed? I have much better grammar than you!_

**It happens to be a very long growth spurt, and you are by no means CALM. You should look up the word calm, and it will say, quite clearly: THIS MOST DEFINITELY DOES NOT DESCRIBE REMUS LUPIN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MOONY. I was merely pointing out that your grammar is quite bad, seeing as it is usually good. I rely on your grammar to be good.**

_Why would the dictionary know my nickname?_

**What's a dictionary?**

_It's a muggle thing. Look it up._

**WHERE? Where should I go to 'look it up'? I am clueless.**

_LOOK IT UP IN A DICTIONARY. And, if you don't know where to 'look it up', why are you telling me to? And how would you know what it said if you didn't know where to find it?_

**I CAN'T LOOK UP DICTIONARY IN A DICTIONARY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT A DICTIONARY IS! You are just confusing me now, Moony. Mr. Padfoot thinks that Mr. Moony is being rather silly.**

_Mr. Moony thinks that Mr. Padfoot is being rather hypocritical._

**Oh, Merlin. Not another word I don't flipping understand!**

_Hahahaha._

**You're evil.**

_Hahahaha._

**Shut the HELL up!**

_I'm not saying anything._

**Yes you were! You were saying 'hahahaha' again and again and AGAIN.**

_No. I wrote it._

**I hate you.**

_The feeling's mutual_

**I refuse to write anymore.**

_Yay!_

**Grrrrr.**

_I thought you weren't writing? And stop giving me evils! _

* * *

ANCIENT RUNES

Wormtail, PLEASE write to me! It's so boring just writing by myself!

Stop taking notes! Answer MY note!

You are SO gay, Peter, I can SEE you reading my last note!

Just reply already! Pleasseeeeeeeee? Stop paying attention to the class!

Be a rebel! Be just like me! :)

Nothing seems to be working. You suck, Peter. Padfoot SO would have replied to my notes by now. He would have started them! Heck, even Moony would reply! You're nothing like us; you don't _deserve_ to be a marauder!

Ooh, you seem to be writing something on the note! Woo hoo we HAVE progress!

Hey, Prongs.

So what was it?

What was what?

The thing that got you to start talking, I bet it was the marauder thing…

I don't know what you're talking about.

Or maybe the whole 'you suck' thing…

It was the whole saying that Sirius would have replied.

What? I really didn't think that would work…

It did. I already KNOW you prefer the others to me; you don't have to tell me all the time.

I don't, I don't… _prefer_ them… I just…

Don't worry. I got over it in like, second year. And it's pretty obvious you're siding with Sirius.

Yeahhh… I wonder what Sirius and Remus are doing right now…

See! Always being distracted by them! Always comparing me to them! Always wishing they were here when I am! Hmph. 

* * *

DIVINATION

**Okay, fine, I'll write.**

_Ohww._

**Don't be so mean. Anyway, I don't know how Prongs stands it.**

_What? FYI, if this were another comment about my personal hygiene, I'd prefer if you didn't voice your opinions on that one._

**What's 'FYI'? And, it wasn't, but now you mention it, you do have a tendency to-**

_Shut up!_

**Okay. I'll just laugh about it with Prongs later. Anyway, I was actually talking about _Pettigrew_. I don't know how I'd stand a lesson all alone with him.**

_You take CoMC with him alone!_

**WHAT? I'm not 'alone' in CoMC! I have plenty of girls who are willing to cater to my every need.**

_You mean, hand you a mirror when you want it and giggle at every stupid thing you say._

**I'd prefer it if they _didn't _giggle, actually. It gets a bit annoying… Anyway, when you said 'every stupid thing you say', did you mean every STUPID thing I say, as in, only the stupid things, or every stupid thing I say, as in everything I say is stupid?**

_Err… the second one._

**Oh. Well, it may be rather rude, but it does make more sense. Why would they _only _giggle at the stupid things?**

_Anyway, we were talking about Care of Magical Creatures class…_

**Oh yeah. I'm not alone!**

_Well, you WERE that one time, when all the girls hated you…_

**Oh yeah! I think I dumped one of them, and they all ganged up against me!**

_When did they ever get over that, anyway?_

**They're all airheads, they'd forgotten about it by next lesson.**

_Why did they get angry with you THAT time, anyway, normally all the other girls get all excited and chanceful whenever you dump one of them?_

**Gosh, Moony, don't you remember? I'll tell it to you, narrator style, and third person…**

**It was around ten o'clock on a Sunday morning, and Sirius had not yet emerged from his dormitory. This was normal, for him, as he liked to get a bit of beauty sleep, hence why he's so beautiful-**

_Don't add in ridiculous, untrue comments like that._

**S'not untrue! Stop reading over my shoulder, that's the whole point in NOTES and stop butting in! SHUT UP if you want to know the story!**

_Shutting up…_

**Anyway, so… where was… the narrator? Oh yes, Sirius was still in his dorm. Others in the common room, noticing the absence of his beautiful presence, did not worry, as it was usual for Sirius to have a bit of a lie-in.**

_How do you know what the others thought?_

**Improvising, Moony!**

_Pfft. You don't even know what that word MEANS._

**But, however, his friends knew different. Sirius Black was sitting on his bed, drowning his sorrows, for he had a spot.**

_SIRIUS BLACK HAD A SPOT! OH MY MERLIN, HOW DID HE MANAGE?_

**Shut up, you were there! And oh my Merlin sounds so STUPID.**

_I know I was there, I remember! Why are you telling me the story if you know I know?_

**It's fun. Okay, so, where was I?**

**He had a spot. This was terrible news for Sirius, as he had never received one of these terrible, disgusting things before (he had perfect skin). He and his friends had tried everything, from strange muggle creams, and funny coloured potions in odd shaped bottles, and plants (supplied by none other than the wonderful Pomona). Nothing worked, and so Sirius was refusing to get out of the dorm, despite many failed attempts from his friends to get him out. Also, Sirius claimed that he shouldn't leave, anyway, as James rudely awaked him. Earlier that morning, James had spotted the spot (hehe) and cried "HOLY MOLY!" at the top of his voice. If it were not for this, Sirius would still be happily sleeping. Anyway, so when Remus asked Sirius why he didn't want to go outside, he replied with, "Because my girlfriends will dump me!"**

**"Don't be so silly, Padfoot!" James cried, "Everyone _loves _you!"**

_He did NOT say THAT._

**Shut up, you oxymoron.**

_That doesn't even make SENSE!_

**"Yeah," Peter added pathetically, like the pathetic girl he is.**

**"Would _you _dump your girlfriends if _they _got a spot?" added Remus, comparing the situations _rather unhelpfully. _**

**"OF COURSE I BLOODY WOULD! Ugh! Spots! Ugh!" Sirius shouted, truthfully. Spots are rather disturbing. Sirius hates the stupid word 'spot'. Anyway, so his friends tutted at his supposed 'foolishness', and left him to wade through his worries alone.**

**Sirius eventually managed covered up his spot quite well, or so he thought, and make his way down to the Great Hall for a spot of breakfast. (Or, as everyone kept telling him, a late lunch). Anyway, so when he walked into the Great Hall, he was greeted by one of his girlfriends, Katie-**

_I thought you broke up by that time?_

**No, it was ages ago that this 'spot' incident happened.**

_Oh._

**Now let me get back to my story, if you please.**

**So, Katie greeted him warmly, and they made their way over to the Gryffindor table. Sirius was horrified to see, once they had sat down, that Katie had a SPOT.**

_Ohhhhh, I remember COMPLETELY now. You were SO unfair._

**Why, thank you, Remus.**

**So, Sirius was disgusted, bla bla bla. Later that day,**

_About ten minutes later, in fact._

**Yeah, pretty much.**

**Anyway, so, later that day, Sirius was very unhappy (or so he made it look) to tell Katie that their relationship had to come to an end. He put a sombre look on his face and hoped that she'd lap it up. She, asked why and he panicked, he hadn't thought of an excuse! Dammit! He disgustedly told her the truth, which was that she had a repulsive, despicable infestation on her face. She burst into tears and screamed, "BUT YOU'VE GOT ONE, TOO!" and ran off sobbing.**

_She did NOT 'burst into tears' and she didn't scream._

**PETTIGREW heard, and so did that DADA teacher, so she must have screamed. Anyway, she did cry a tiny bit.**

_Oh yeah, like, one tear._

**One's enough. It still shows how heartbroken she was.**

_Once again, pfft!_

**Everybody heard what Katie had screamed, even the 'deaf' (whatever that was, but Remus seemed to apply it to these kind of situations) DADA teacher. By this point, the narrator has forgotten what he was trying to prove.**

_You were trying to prove why the girls were so angry._

**Oh yeah. They thought Sirius was a 'filthy hypocrite, to say the least'. They got over it by the next day. The end.**

_Great story._

**Why were we trying to prove why the girls were angry?**

_Because you said that the girls all loved you, and I reminded you about that one time, and I asked why…_

**Oh yeah. And why did I say that all the girls loved me? (Aside from the obvious, of course)**

_Because you were trying to prove that you were alone with Peter in CoMC, because you felt sorry for James, being along with Peter all the time in Ancient Runes. And, the obvious being…?_

**That I am amazing. And sexy. And handsome. And gorgeous. And snog-able. And amazing. And fantastic. And strikingly beautiful. And the most incredible-looking man on the planet.**

_And modest._

**_Speaking_ of James, I wonder what he and _Pettigrew_ are up to.**

_WHAT THE HELL? When did I say 'big headed' or 'arrogant' or 'up himself'?_

**Now that's just plain horrid.**

* * *

ANCIENT RUNES

Peter, PLEASE speak again? LIFE IS DULL, LIFE IS GAY, LIFE IS SAD, AND LIFE IS BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I AM BORRRRRRRREEEEEED.

PLEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE REPLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

No.

WHAT? YOU JUST DID! YOU- AR- I- GR- YOU- oh well, end of lesson now. And by the way, I _am _on Sirius' side, I _don't _forgive you, and you _suck_. I was just bored. Seeya, _Pettigrew_.

* * *

**Hehehe.  
Review please :D**


	15. Beefams

**Charmy Warms again. :D I am in a strrraaaaaaaange mood. :D  
Disclaimer: You know...**

* * *

CHARMS

I rock!

**I know. Why?**

Because I stole Peter's quill! He doesn't even _know_! Actually, I think he noticed, he keeps asking for it back.

Ya THINK?

**I guess you got your stupid quill back then, Wormarse.**

Ouch! That one _really _hurt! NOT.

**Merlin, Pettigrew, you sound like a bloody two-year-old, "NOT."**

Do you remember when you called McGonagall a sexy beast? That was funny…

**Is this your pathetic attempt at being friends with me again? Well, I know where you can shove your friendship, right up your wormy ar-**

Anyway… get lost, Peter.

I always _knew _you'd stick up for him, AGAIN. Even though I didn't do anything this time! I was trying to make up!

**Well it WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH!**

Anyway, of course I stick up for Padfoot - he's my brother!

**Yeah, you're my brother from another (much nicer, better, kinder) mother!**

Haha, bro from another mo, man!

**My bfam! Pronounced bee-fam not bee-eff-ay-em**

Okie doke, bfam. XD

_With a knick-knack, paddy whack, give the dog a bone; this old man came rolling home…_

**That's such a groovy tune, Moony :)**

**Paddywhack sounds cool. Padfoot --**** Pad --**** Paddy --**** Paddywhack**

Prongs -- Prong -- Prongy -- Prongy…wong?

**Groovy! **

You love that word, don't you, Pads?

**Yeah. And do you know what else I love?**

Let me guess, it's either sex or girls?

**Ooh, it WAS girls, but I'll have to say both. It's too hard a choice. You can't have one without the other.**

_Err… actually, you CAN have sex without girls, and you CAN have girls without sex._

**Yeah, but…**

**1). I'm straight**

**2). What's the point in girls if there's no sex?**

**3). Moony, are YOU gay?**

_No. _

Sure.

_No._

Like I said, SURE.

**Yeah, straight guys don't go around groping their headMASTER in the bathroom.**

_ARE YOU KIDDING? IT WAS YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**Oh yeah. Sorry. Ignore that.**

You know, you never actually told me what happened…

**Good. You don't DESERVE to know. You're a little piece of sh-**

CLASS IS OVER NOW. LET'S GO.

* * *

**Rather short :D  
Reviews would be so awesome man :)**


	16. The fangirls advise it

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to write this?**

* * *

MUGGLE STUDIES

You're really quite rude, Moony.

_Why?_

Because you _know _that Padfoot has liked Katie for _years, _but when yet you still went out with her.

_That's not rude. Sirius does it to me all the time!_

Yeah, but… he doesn't really realise it. You _knew _that he liked her.

No I didn't. Anyway, he doesn't; the only reason he's chasing after her is because she's one of the first ones who turned him down and chose me over him. As soon as she gave in, he would have got bored with her and dumped her.

You don't know that. This could have been his one chance to find true love and you ruined it!

_You're kidding, right?_

That's not the point!

I'm not listening to you, because if Sirius is angry with me for dating someone he 'likes', then it's extremely hypocritical of him.

Whatever, Moonbum

_What IS it with these ridiculous nicknames?_

They rock.

I wonder whether Sirius and Peter have started talking yet.

I hope not.

That's not very nice or supportive for your friend.

Whatevs.

* * *

CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES

Sirius?

**What the hell do you want?**

I'm… err, I'm sorry for… saying those things about your family. 

**You should be.**

And, err… I'm sorry for saying that you're not a very good friend.

**And?**

And what?

**Oh. I just thought there'd be **_**something else **_**you want to apologise for. **

No, actually. Because Harriet and I are getting along _fine. _She's really nice. And, I'm the one making all the moves here; I thought at least you'd have _one _thing to say.

**Like what? 'I'm sorry for saying that she's using you'? Because I'm NOT. It's the truth; it's not **_**my **_**problem if you can't handle it.**

Or maybe you just can't handle the fact that she likes me? And I'm _enjoying _myself. 

**Let's not get into all this again. I can't be bothered. You've chosen your path, now stick to it, instead of trying to be friends with me when clearly you'd prefer to hang out with Harriet.**

Yeah, I would.

**Just one more thing, Pettigrew**

What?

**Stay away from Prongs. He doesn't like you.**

I'll be happy to.

**Good. And while you're at it, why don't you move into the Slytherin common room, as well?**

Okay, now you're just trying to start an argument again!

**Maybe I am! What are **_**you **_**going to do about it?**

Please, can't we just stop this fighting? It's doing my head in!!

**No, we **_**can't. **_

Why not?

**1). I don't forgive you for being so mean.**

**2). You're still with Harriet even though she's **_**using you.**_

**3). My fan-girls advise me not to be friends with you.**

You're taking advice from your _fan-girls? _The _stalkers?_

**Hey, FIRST you insult my family (not that I care too much about that anyway), then you insult **_**me, **_**and NOW YOU'RE PICKING ON MY FAN-GIRLS? Poor, defenceless women who are helplessly in love with my charms and my beauty and my gorgeous self?**

They're not that defenceless, you know! One of them kicked me quite hard in the shin yesterday!

**Woo hoo! GOOOOO FAN-GIRLS!!!**

I think it was a fan-boy, actually. I can't be too sure.

**Stop insulting my fan-girls/boys, and leave.**

I can't leave.

**Well, stop talking to me then.**

Happy to.

**Are those WORDS I see?**

…

* * *

MUGGLE STUDIES

I don't _get _this subject.

_Now why doesn't that surprise me?_

Stop being such a… n arse!!

_A 'n arse'?_

Nooo, silly!! I was going to say a…. something, but then I thought of arse, so I added the n. To make 'an arse'

_Oh. How silly of me to think it was 'n arse', when it clearly says 'n arse'!!!_

You're one ungratefully rude fellow.

_And you're an idiot._

Oi!

* * *

CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES

**I've been wondering something, Pettigrew.**

What's that, Black?

**Don't call me Black.**

Why not? You call me Pettigrew.

**Yes, but I am far, far too cool to be a Black. I like to forget the fact that I am a Black as much as possible, and you constantly reminding me like that isn't very helpful to the healing process.**

Okay, then, err… Sirius?

**You're not allowed to call me by my first name, you filthy peasant!**

Orion?

**Gross! I **_**hate **_**my middle name and you **_**know**_** that!**

_Mr. _Sirius?

**Yes, that'll do quite nicely.**

Okay, then you can call me-

**Do shut up, Pettigrew, I am trying to talk here. Okay, I was wondering why you are a rat the other day. I mean, why I am a dog is **_**obvious, **_**because I am dead loyal and I am brilliant at the whole 'lost puppy dog' routine. And obviously Prongs is a stag, because he's all proud and noble and stuff. But **_**why **_**are you a rat? And then it hit me; because you are a filthy lying traitor! You go off with that Harriet, and leave **_**us **_**to pick up the dirty pieces you left behind! **

If I had known that this was another attempt to insult me, then I wouldn't have bothered.

**There was nothing 'attempt' about it; I insulted you, good and plain!**

Whatever, _Mr. Sirius._

**Just because you know I am above you, and are annoyed at having to admit it.**

Shut up.

**Okay.**

Really?

**No. But Joanna's giving me the eye, so I'm going to go over there and talk to her, and leave you. Not that it's any of your business anyway, Pettigrew The Former Friend of The Great Sirius.**

Okay. Whatever, Black.

**DON'T. CALL. ME. BLACK.**

Whoa, okay… err… I'm gonna _go. _

_

* * *

_**If you reviewed, that would be lovely :D**


	17. Sophia Chirugorum

**Another one :D. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. And, to _JoSchmo666: _What a coincidence, lol, I didn't know!  
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, obviously...**

* * *

HERBOLOGY

Padfooooooot?

**Yup?**

What does 'Sophia Chirugorum' mean?

**How the hell should **_**I **_**know?**

Good point.  
Mooooooonyy?

_No! I refuse to participate in this! And I will NOT allow cheating to be done in my presence, either!_

**Piss off, then ;)**

Moony is SUCH a loser!

**I know! Who **_**doesn't **_**like cheating?**

Only the biggest idiots ever

**I bet Sniv doesn't!!**

_Lily doesn't._

Oh. Maybe the people who don't approve of our cheating methods aren't _all _the biggest idiots ever.

_METHODS? Like it's a 'way of learning'._

**It IS a way of learning.**

_You disgust me._

**And you **_**don't **_**disgust me?**

_Touché._

**Loser.**

_Idiot._

**Imbecile.**

_I'm surprised you know that word; you're such a MORON._

**Touché.**

_You're never going to stop saying that, are you?_

**Touché.**

Speaking of losers, idiots, imbeciles and morons, where's Peter?

**Right over there. As soon as **_**Pettigrew **_**(THAT'S his name)'s ugly face came through the previously **_**nice **_**door, I was sickened. It darkened my day, it did.**

Touché.

**Gross! Don't steal my thing!**

Touché.

**Why is this THING here?**

This 'thing' has a name.

**I know. 'Pettigrew the Thing'**

His name is go afar.

_WHAT?_

It made more sense in my head.

_His name is Peter._

**His name is Pettigrew.**

MY NAME IS WORMTAIL!

**Shut up. No it's not, you pathetic idiot.**

Touché.

**That is getting SO annoying!**

Now you know what it's like to spend a day with YOU!

**Well, _you _certainly don't!**

What?

**I'm sorry that you've never **_**had**_** that honour. It's just that I simply can't stand a whole DAY with a dull, pathetic, gross, needy, boring thing like you.**

I'm not needy!

Note how he didn't question dull, pathetic, gross and boring.

**Yeah. 'Cos they're true, init.**

Are you EVER gonna stop insulting me?

**Are you still hanging out with that skank?**

HER NAME IS HARRIET.

**That's the one. Are you still hanging out with her?**

Yes.

**Then NO, I am not going to stop insulting you, you ugly FREAK!**

Please, can't we just be friends again?

**No.**

Please?

**No.**

PLEASE?

**NO!**

Moony, back up?

**HOW DARE YOU USE MOONY LIKE THIS?**

Why not, you're using Prongs!

**HOW DARE YOU USE HIS NICKNAME AS IF YOU'RE FRIENDS?**

I'd like to point out that I'm not being used; I am doing this of my own free will.

_Sure, Prongs, sure._

**FINE, PETTIGREW, USE MOONY, SEE IF I CARE!**

_Err… do I_ _get a say in this? I don't want to be used…_

MAYBE I WILL!

_I feel violated._

**Not that he'll let YOU use him, anyway.**

What, and he'll let YOU use him?

**I think so. Wait, scratch that, I **_**know **_**so.**

_Again: violated. Also: disturbed, scared and quite nauseous._

MOONY'S HILARIOUS! I laugh.

**PRONGS! Stay focused on the task at hand!**

Sorry. And what task is that?

**Let me draw you up **_**a LIST! **_**(Woop woop for lists)**

**1). Fighting with Pettigrew**

**2). And proving we're better than him**

**3). Stopping Moony from being used…**

**4). …and from feeling violated.**

But we ARE better than him.

**I know, that's why it's SO easy to prove.**

And… about number 3… didn't you say earlier "Fine, Pettigrew, use Moony, see if I care!"

**Err… let's just pretend that's not true…**

HAH! IT _IS _TRUE!! I'm a better friend, and you KNOW it!

**Let's just call it even?**

What… you mean… make up?

**Yeah, sure, whatever…**

Woo hoo! We're FRIENDS again!

**Yeah.**

Are you sure?

**Yup.**

Really?

**YES.**

Okay, COOL!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Calm down, Prongs. YOU don't have to be friends with him, if you don't want to.**

But the only reason I'm a not friend with him is because I'm on YOUR side, if you go over to HIS side, then… it's now MY side. And there's no point in myself having my own side, because that's just stupid, seeing as it was YOUR argument to begin with, and now that you've made up, well… there's no point in HAVING sides anymore. And seeing as YOU forgive him, I kind of HAVE to, because I came over to your side, YOUR side, so when YOU say we make up, we make up.

**I didn't understand a word of that, but… I'm not saying you have to be friends with him, seeing as I'm your best friend and he was mean to me, let's just say you refuse to forgive him because you don't like seeing me hurt… or something stupid like that.**

Err… okay?

**Goodie.**

'_A not friend'?_

Oh. I guess it doesn't make sense.

_Nothing to do with you ever does…_

**Don't bully Prongs!**

_Oh. I see how it is._

**Yeah.**

So… am I friends with Prongs, or not?

Not for the time being.

Okayyyyy…

_We rock. 'We' as in Padfoot and I._

**Yeah, baby!! Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?**

_It comes and it goes. And don't ever call me baby again. It sickens me._

**Sure, MoonyWoony!**

_As much as my 'new nickname' amuses me, I'd appreciate it more if you didn't use it in company._

When else is he going to use it? Between the sheets ;)

**Shut up.**

_Shut UP, Potter._

Owww. Now you're calling me 'POTTER'?

**Anyways, Moony, it's either MoonyWoony or baby. Pick one.**

_Err… MoonyWoony._

**Okie doke.**

_Class is over, now! :)_

**YAY! Pettigrew?**

Why are you still calling me Pettigrew?

**BECAUSE IT WAS AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE! I'M NOT REALLY FRIENDS WITH YOU ANYMORE, I WAS JUST KIDDING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!**

:|

YAY!!!! WOO HOO :). I LOVE YOU, PADFOOT!

**Err… the feelings… mutual?**

WOO HOO!!!! SEEYA, PETTIGREW!

**BYEEEEE FARTFACE!!!**

_That was __mean.__ Seeya, Peter._

I hate April fool's Day…

**Hehehe.**

* * *


	18. It's not April Fool's Day!

Wait… isn't it _March?_


	19. Nobody called Moony a skank!

_Sorry that it's been so long.  
And this one is rather short.  
Sorry, sorry, sorry.  
Disclaimer: Very unfortunately, I dont own the amazingly wonderful marauders._

* * *

ASTRONOMY

**I'm so tired.**

Me too.

_Tired of what?_

**This lesson.**

You.

_Charming!_

Err…

**What a fine way to announce your presence.**

Padfoot, can we talk?

**Gross. It's like we're **_**dating.  
**_**Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of my posse.**

I am NOT part of your posse!

_I never knew you had a posse. _

**Whatever.**

It's Harriet… she… she broke up with me.

**Really?**

Well, isn't_ that_ surprising…

She told me that… 

**What?**

That I'm no use, because I'm not friends with you anymore, so I can't… 'dig the dirt' on you.

**She WAS using you! I knew it! High five, Prongs!**

_Is this __really__ the time to be high-fiving? _

There's always a time for high-fives!

Can you… not be all… 'I told you so' please?

**But I **_**did **_**tell you so. And you didn't listen. Some friend. I was just trying to look out for you!**

I know. I'm sorry for not believing you, and I'm sorry for everything I said. Like, about your family and stuff.

**About how they're rubbish?**

Yup.

**And they don't want me?**

…Yeah.

**And that I'm a crap friend?**

…yes! What's your point?

**I'm… err… that thing, as well. **

Sorry?

**Yes. For being… err… saying mean things. About that skank.**

_I forgive you._

**What the hell is WRONG with you?**

Oh, sorry. By 'that skank' I thought you meant me. Seeing as you hate me… :(

**Moony! This is **_**not **_**about you! Now is **_**not **_**the time for you to feel sorry for yourself!**

_Okay._

I forgive you, Padfoot.

**I forgive you too, Wormtail.**

Guys, STOP hugging! I forgive you all! I wanna be hugged!

_Now I feel left out. I want to be hugged._

**No way, Moony. Too late, moments over.**

_Oh. _

And so is class!

**That was a short class.**

_That's because you arrived half an hour late._

**Oh yeah.**

What were you doing, anyway?

**You don't wanna know.**

Ooh, sounds saucy.

It _always_ is.

_Yeah. So that was short.  
And not very good. Or funny. Sorry.  
But they made up... at last.  
Reviiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeew please._

* * *


	20. The Only One He Ever Loved

_As you probably have noticed, I have changed the name of this chapter, so that it is not after the lesson, because I've used up all the lessons, TWICE, and I got bored. Sorry.  
Disclaimer: I do not, and will never, own the marauders. Most unfortunately._

* * *

**Moony, I am depressed!**

_W__hy?_

**It's that awful book you lent me! It's depressing!**

_Oh._

What book?

**The Only One He Ever Loved. It's about this awful, horrible girl who bewitched this lovely fellow into thinking that he **_**loved **_**her, and then she forced him to propose, and it's all very tragic.**

Oh, I've read that. Doesn't he just fall in love, and then propose of his own free will?

**No! I strongly doubt it! She's a horrible being! But I haven't finished the book yet so don't ruin it. I hope she dies a painful death at the end.**

_It's going to be quite hard for people like Peter (people who haven't read it, I mean) to realise how gross she is._

She's a trash-bag.

I hope you finish it soon, I want to know what happens at the end!

**I know. But McGonagall confiscated it for the rest of the day, so I can't finish it! **

That's a shame. You'd better tell me what happened ASAP, though.

_I can't believe she forced him into proposing._

**I know. What an awful witch. With a capital 'b' :)**

_We should go to the wedding just to kill her._

Moony! Who knew you were so sadistic?

**I did :)**

I'm so glad I don't know this girl. She's nasty.

What's her name?

_Leila. *Shudders*_

**Snape stole my key ring this morning!**

Oh. Merlin. What. A. Kleptomaniac.

**I know!**

Finally! I found some soap!

**Oh, is that about those stink pellets I dropped on you this morning?**

No, I was talking about the first time. I've been filthy for days :(

**Gross. You poor thing**

Yeah. I smelled.

**I know! Sheesh, you REEKED!**

Cheers.

**Ooh, did you hear? My cousin's getting married!**

_Dromeda already IS married, you idiot._

**Not Dromeda! Bellatrix. She's getting married to a LESTRANGE!**

Ooh! Maybe I'll gatecrash.

**Me too.**

You're not invited?

**Where've YOU been?**

COURSE he's not invited!

_They hate him, and blah de blah de blah._

Oh.

_Are we still going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?_

**No. Prongsie and me have last minute Quidditch practice.**

_Oh._

Oh?

**Yes!**

_Okay, okay, calm down._

Yeah. Keep your hair on.

Don't get your knickers in a twist!

…

**…**

…

… it's what my mother says!

Sure, Wormy. _Sure…_

**Ooh, I just got a letter! From an _owl_!**

Really? Ooh, that's _shocking_!

**Aww! It's from little Nymphadora!**

_?_

**Dromeda's daughter!**

_Oh._

**It says: Dear Sirius,  
****Happy birthday for Monday!  
****A present is enclosed from mummy, daddy and me. We hope you like it.  
****Lots of love,  
****Your favourite cousin,  
****Dora xxxxxx  
****P.S. What is the name of your headmaster? Full name.**

**Awwwww!!!**

_How old is she now?_

**About five, I think.**

_Awwwww. And she wrote all of that herself?_

**Yup. Well, there were a few spelling mistakes, but I didn't copy _those _out, did I?**

What's the present?

**I don't know. I'm just about to open it. MERLIN!!!!!**

What is it, Padfoot?

**IT'S FOUR TICKETS TO THE APPLEBY ARROWS/WIMBOURNE WASPS GAME!!!!!!**

OH MY GOD!!!

_What? What is it?_

THAT'S ONLY THE BEST ONE!!

Why?

**BECAUSE THEY'RE THE BIGGEST RIVALS!!! Ooh, there's a note attached, it says: One for you, and three for your friends.**

I THINK I'M GOING TO FAINT!!

**This is SO exciting!!!!**

_Who are you going to take?_

**Well, I was thinking James and a couple of girls.**

_Oh._

**What?**

_It's just that… Appleby Arrows are my second favourite team._

**I'm KIDDING, Moony! Did you seriously think that I would take _girls _to a Quidditch game, and not my three best mates?**

_Oh. So am I coming, then?_

**YES!**

_Yay!_

Me too?

**Of course**

Yay!

**Now, Moony, I need to talk to you about the Arrows…**

_What about them?_

**Don't cheer for them.**

_Why not?_

BECAUSE THE WASPS ARE CLEARLY THE BEST!

_No they're not!_

**THEY ARE!**

_NOT!_

ARE!

_NOT!_

**ARE!**

Okay, guys, calm down.

**I need to write a reply. What _is _Dumbledore's full name, anyway?**

Who knows?

**I'll ask Evans.**

--------

BETWEEN SIRIUS AND LILY:

**Yo, Evans!**

**_What, Black?_**

**What's Dumbledore's full name?**

**_You are seriously deranged._**

**I know, I know. What is it, then?**

**_Err... Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore, I think._**

**Cool. You sure?**

**_Ooh, no! It's Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore._**

**Isn't that the same thing?**

**_No. The first time the Percival and Wulfric were the other way round._**

**Okay. Thanks, Evans.**

----------

BACK TO THE MARAUDERS:

**I replied. So... what did you guys talk about when I was gone?**

Nothing. Just about your cousins. Did you find it out?

**Yeah. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. What kind of freaky chick knows that?**

_My_ kind ;)

**O...k. Anyway, what were you saying about my cousins?**

Just chatting about Bella's wedding.

**Is it legal to _marry_ your cousin?**

Unfortunately.

_Why? Thinking of shacking up with Cissy, were you? Or did you want to give Dromeda a proper thank you gift?_

**Shut up. I was just wondering.**

Sure…

**You know, once upon a time, I thought that Malfoy's first name was actually Malfoy, not Lucius. I was about five when I finally learnt the terrible truth.**

Ah, good old Lucius.

_What a silly one you were._

**Yup**

_At least you've grown wiser now._

**Yep. Wiser, older and sexier ;)**

_If you say so…_

**I do. And so should you.**

_Your ego is inflating once again._

**Oh, it's _always _been inflated, love, it's just that before, I kept my fantastically true opinions to myself. What a mistake that was. It led you into thinking that I was… _nice! _:O**

_But now your inner grouchiness has come to the surface once more, and is making lives miserable._

**It's not inner grouchiness! It is inner beauty! And the only miserable ones are those who aren't honoured by my presence, but don't worry there's still plenty of Sirius to go around :)**

_Oh, what a relief! And, it used to be inner, before the ego made another appearance. _

**The sexy (just like every other part of me) ego was always there, darling :)**

_It wasn't shown, though._

**Sorry about that. I assumed you could already see my sexiness without me having to point it out to you all the time.**

_I see._

**I _always _see, it's one of my _many _talents. I'm so amazingly clever. And sexy**

_How do you manage to compliment yourself after every thing I say?_

**It is pure talent, my friend. It takes many years to master for mere mortals like such as yourself, but for me, it comes naturally. There are just so many great things about me; it's easy you see.**

_**Oh. Thanks for clearing that up.**_

**That's fine, my love. It was no problem. Anything to help out a friend in need of some of my awesome knowledge.**

_I'm sure it'll be of great use to me some time in the future._

**Yes. It shall. If you ever meet someone as brilliant as me, for example. Although, I strongly doubt that's possible, unless you meet Merlin himself.**

_Good to know._

**It is.**

This makes Mr. Prongs laugh. Mr. Prongs smiles gleefully.

**Mr. Padfoot is sorry to inform Mr. Prongs that he sounds just like the despicable Mr. Moony.**

Mr. Prongs is appalled that he could ever sound like that – that – that moon!! Mr. Prongs assures Mr. Padfoot that it shall never happen again!

**Mr. Padfoot apologises for accusing Mr. Prongs of such things. Mr. Padfoot is deeply disgusted by Mr. Moony's abnormal behaviour.**

Mr. Prongs is amused. Class is over now, so Mr. Prongs shall not reply for a while.

**Mr. Padfoot bids Mr. Prongs a good bye!**


	21. Goodbye

_Not really my best writing, but I felt I should finish this properly. Hope it doesn't disappoint.  
Disclaimer; Not mine, never was. Consider it forever disclaimed._

* * *

Peter, if I give you 4 knuts, will you smell my feet?

Okay.

Yay! Sniff away, Peter, m'boy.

Merlin, Prongs! They're filthy!

**What's going on?**

Peter smelt my feet for 4 knuts.

_That's disgusting._

For 4 knuts, why not?!

_Umm, because 4 knuts is nothing?_

**James! You only gave _me _2 knuts to smell your feet yesterday! :(**

Sorry, Padfoot! Hey Remus, if I give you 1 knut, will you smell my feet?

_No!_

Oh. Fair enough.

**Remus is lazy, vicious, mean, Moony…**

_Sirius is mean, smelly, angry, Padfoot, wrong, not as cool as Remus…_

…**addicted to chocolate, funny, smelly…**

…_and a bully!_

…**and lovely!**

Remus, that was so mean and uncalled for!

_Me?! What?! Sirius started it!_

**Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.**

Peter is the coolest.

_Peter is not the coolest._

**Peter loves Dumbledore's arse.**

Hahahaha. Peter sucks McGonagall's –

_Woah, stop right there, James!_

Yes, too far, James! TOO FAR!

What the hell, Sirius was the one who mentioned our headmaster's arse!

**Yeah, but McGonagall's…? That's just nasty.**

Hey Sirius, wanna sit next to me at the Quidditch match tomorrow?

**Okay!**

_What a crafty way of changing the subject._

Aw, Remus, are you jealous? Do you wanna be on my other side? ;)

_Umm, okay. And no, I was not jealous…_

**Ugh, dammit! I should've asked him sooner! Peter, do you wanna sit next to me?**

_Glad to be so high in demand._

No, I don't want to sit next to you, Sirius. Remus, can I sit next to you?

_Sure!_

**PETER! I'M SORRY THAT YOU WERE MY LAST RESORT, OKAY?**

…okay. Sorry, Remus. I promised Sirius.

Weird. While this note writing has been extremely fun, I've got something to tell you all.

_Oh?_

**Listening.**

This past year has been great. But Lily expects something better of me, and so unfortunately, there will be no more time for writing silly notes.

**What do you mean?!**

If I want to win Lily over, then I must pay attention in class!

**Leave the attention paying to losers, like Moony!**

_Hey!_

**Sorry. It had to be said.**

_Umm, no actually, it didn't._

So, I bid you three farewell. I am off to chase my lover. Wish me luck!

No.

**You can't make me.**

_Good luck, Prongs!_

**Traitor.**

_Oh, hush. I should probably stop with the notes too._

**Not you as well! Oh dear Merlin, what has happened to us?! Wormtail?**

Yes?

**Will you be stopping writing back to me?**

_Does that even make sense?_

**I THOUGHT YOU'D STOPPED, REMUS, EH?**

_Wow. Touchy._

**Shut up. Wormy?**

Yeah, I should probably go, as well...

**WHAT?!**

**Wormtail?!**

**MOONY?!**

**PRONGSSSSSSS?!?!?!?! Oh man, this sucks. Goodbye, oh precious notes :(**

**_

* * *

_**

_Sorry, for like, randomly ending it there. I hope you enjoyed reading :D Please review! Thank you x  
And thank you so much to all the faithful people who have read & reviewed this story throughout. You know who you are..._

_Joanne Amelia  
14hp1  
BrokenSnow.X  
HappyLittlePanda  
Death'sAngel18  
Prongywong  
XMrsJamesPotterx  
Alice-rox-ur-sox  
BlackMagicWhiteMagic  
Stitch-patch  
JoSchmo666  
RockingouttoPinkFloyd  
ElemenUchihaMaster  
StrawberryFields4EverandEver  
Eri 'n' Ali  
ginny hale  
Ariel C. Rilmonn  
Kohaku Lynn-Cyrcus Fraek-76767  
^ (I hope I got that right) ^  
lilyre  
glistening moon  
seriously siri  
lexiz73  
Pink cookies and fairyfloss  
.razy_

_And sorry if I missed anyone else out! Thank you so, so much for reviewing, oh devoted people :D lots and lots of love xxxx_


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